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Anna
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« Reply #60 on: April 19, 2005, 11:48:49 AM » |
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Those are both good ones mcgonagall! 
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blackcat20
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« Reply #61 on: May 12, 2005, 08:39:31 AM » |
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Why ARE Men Happier?
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
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blackcat20
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« Reply #63 on: May 12, 2005, 04:01:24 PM » |
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It is funny, and so right too  Sometimes I think it would be easier to be a guy, but then there would be no excuse to eat huge amounts of chocolate 
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Morningangel-Iola
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« Reply #64 on: June 20, 2005, 04:13:10 AM » |
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Redneck Humor
A North Carolina redneck passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow. However, she can't touch it until she turns 16. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Folks in Georgia now go to some movies in groups of 18 or more. They were told 17 and under are not admitted. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The minimum drinking age in Tennessee has been raised to 32. It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In Mississippi, reruns of "Hee Haw" are called documentaries. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How can you tell if a West Virginia redneck is married? There's dried tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tennessee has a new $3,000,000 State Lottery. The winner gets $3 a year for a million years. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Recently, the Governor's Mansion in Little Rock burned down. In fact, it took out the whole trailer park. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The best thing to ever come out of Arkansas is Interstate 40. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (And my very favorite.........) An Alabama State Trooper stopped a pickup truck. He asked the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver said, "Bout what?"
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Trey
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« Reply #66 on: July 07, 2005, 11:57:03 AM » |
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HAHA I just got this email: THE ONLY THING THAT WILL MAKE TOM CRUISE TRULY HAPPY 
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Brilliant Snape.... once again you've put your keen and penetrating mind to the task and as usual come to the wrong conclusion!!
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EmmasOneandOnly
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« Reply #68 on: July 07, 2005, 12:03:30 PM » |
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Trey
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« Reply #69 on: July 07, 2005, 12:07:21 PM » |
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Brilliant Snape.... once again you've put your keen and penetrating mind to the task and as usual come to the wrong conclusion!!
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EmmasOneandOnly
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« Reply #70 on: July 07, 2005, 12:08:06 PM » |
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I know, I still got the giggle
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