Crumbs!! I dunno where to start with this

OK, in no particular order......
1. The Grey Havens. The only immortals are elves. Bilbo and Frodo were allowed to sail as they were the major surviving Ringbearers. Galadriel intereceded on Bilbos behalf and Arwen gave her place to Frodo. It's my belief that they both went West to live out the remainder of their days in peace.
2. Saruman @ BK. Eternal damnation!?!
I'm sure the Eldar would approve. Come to think of it, I'm sure I saw him and Worm muttering to each other in the Cheltenham branch the other day

Saruman is now Regional Manager for South West England

:P
3. Despite what it says in Unfinished Tales, Gandalf did select the Gaffer to go with the dwarves. Trouble is, the pipeweed gave Gandalf a funny turn and he invited Bilbo instead. The Gaffer (who went to his grave believing he'd been invited) never forgave Gandalf, which is why he concocted all the malicious lies and rumours about Gandalf leading the hobbits astray that JRRT alludes to in LOTR. The Gaffer had an evil temper, and a long memory!!
4. If Boromir had got the ring, he'd have gone to Minas Tirith, duffed Denethor up before Gandalf got anywhere near and then given the ring to Faramir to cheer him up 'cos dad was so beastly to him. Faramir would then bump Aragorn off as he decided Arwen was a better bet than Eowyn (despite having never met either of them)

Trouble is, Faramir had overlooked Gollum, who'd realised what fun a menage with Arwen
AND Eowyn could be. Bear with me... I'm getting there

Net result -
Lord Smeagol ruler of all he saw and with two devoted ladies in tow.
And
nobody lived happily ever after
BTW, I own the rights to this version and anyone from New Line who's interested can contact me thro' my agent

Rob