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Author Topic: Everything you wanted to know about Australia but were scared to ask  (Read 3182 times)
Roz
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« on: February 13, 2005, 06:28:09 AM »

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV,
so how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks?(Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a
list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?
(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is
illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make
good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its
name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of
gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can
scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Anna
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« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2005, 06:37:48 AM »

LOL Grin Grin Grin

I wonder what our Aus-tra-lian members think about this Q&A?
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blackcat20
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« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2005, 10:00:55 AM »

I wonder what our Aus-tra-lian members think about this Q&A?

This Aussie thinks it hilarious!  Grin People do think some strange things about our country...

Kate
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mcgonagall
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« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2005, 10:51:09 AM »

lol i bet most of the questions where asked by males lmao


If any forum member does have any questions about australia feel free to ask ( but i don't quarentee and answer ) lmao

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ferdinand_the_yak
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« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2005, 04:42:58 PM »

ROFL - mcgonagall, Trey, Kate I love it!

And for all the non Aussie members - ITS ALL TRUE! REALLY IT IS! Grin
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sketchqueen
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« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2005, 05:08:59 PM »

Is the part about Australia having all non-poisonous snakes true?? I have a very severe phobia with snakes and have avoided travelling anywhere that I might come into contact with them (and that includes reptile houses at the zoo).

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ferdinand_the_yak
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« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2005, 05:43:09 PM »

Sadly no - we have the most poisonous snake in the world (5 of the Top 10) Lips Sealed

    List of Deadliest Snakes in the world as per their ranking : -

1) Fierce Snake or Inland Taipan (Oxyuranus microlepidotus ), Australia. The most toxic venom of any snake. Maximum yield recorded (for one bite) is 110mg. That would porbably be enough to kill over 100 people or 250,000 mice. These rare snakes are vitually unknown in collections outside of Australia.

2) Australian Brown Snake (Pseudonaja textilis ), Australia. One 1/14,000 of an ounce of this vemon is enough to kill a person.

3) Malayan Krait (Bungarus candidus ), Southeast Asia and Indonesia. 50% of the bites from this snake are fatal even with the use of antivenin treatment.

4) Taipan (Oxyuranus scutellatus ), Australia. The venom delivered in a single Taipan bite is enough to kill up to 12,000 guinea pigs.

5) Tiger Snake (Notechis scutatus ), Australia.

6) Beaked Sea Snake (Enhydrina schistosa ), South Asian waters Arabian Sea to Coral Sea..

7) Saw Scaled Viper (Echis carinatus ), Middle East Asia.

Cool Coral Snake (Micrurus fulvius ), North America.

9) Boomslang (Dispholidus typus ), Africa.

10) Death Adder (Acanthopis antarcticus ), Australia and New Guinea.

11) Black Mamba, both species of Green Mambas, and the Mojave
Rattlesnake.


But unless you were to go tramping around in the bush and desert by yourself (highly unrecommended for anyone esp people who are unfamiliar with the areas) you should be OK! I have only ever seen 2 snakes face to face in my life!
« Last Edit: February 13, 2005, 05:45:30 PM by ferdinand_the_yak » Logged
blackcat20
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« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2005, 05:55:05 PM »

I've been swimming with a Tiger snake, though it was completely by accident   Shocked
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ferdinand_the_yak
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« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2005, 05:55:51 PM »

I should hope so!  Shocked
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savage727
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« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2005, 06:01:26 PM »

Gee Australia sounds like the enchanted land in the Wizard of Oz!!   Wink  Sounds like my kind of place snakes and all!!   Smiley
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« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2005, 06:06:17 PM »

Hope to see you here someday! Watch out for Drop bears! Grin
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Roz
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« Reply #11 on: February 13, 2005, 06:11:22 PM »

Yeah the drop bears are tough !!!

I lost a good portion of my brain through meeting one of those in the zoo... they look so cute in order to entice you to go nearer....

 Grin

Geez - SWIMMING with a tiger snake?? I bet you've never swum so fast in your life than just after you saw that!
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ferdinand_the_yak
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« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2005, 06:15:39 PM »

CUTE?Huh?

Have you ever been up close and personal with a koala? They smell, scratch and are generally lazy. When we visited the zoo lately, my sister thought the koala was stuffed as it did not move at all!

Koalas must be one of the most overrated animals in the world Cool
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blackcat20
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« Reply #13 on: February 13, 2005, 06:16:26 PM »

Geez - SWIMMING with a tiger snake?? I bet you've never swum so fast in your life than just after you saw that!
I was only a kid, so I didnt actually notice it until they had it on land and sliced into lots of little, very dead, pieces...
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mcgonagall
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« Reply #14 on: February 13, 2005, 06:55:21 PM »

I love koala's one of my most favorite picture is 2 of our kids with hubby holding a koala .


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ferdinand_the_yak
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« Reply #15 on: February 13, 2005, 07:12:26 PM »

Oh, don't get me wrong, koalas are cute (from afar) and I love them because they resemble me in nature Wink I just think the attention they get is overrated Smiley

Did the koala try to bite/scratch you at all? I heard they can get a bit frisky at these types of photo sessions!
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mcgonagall
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« Reply #16 on: February 13, 2005, 10:08:00 PM »

nope the koala just cuddled up to my hubby and went to sleep lol



I always say my hubby is a big teddy bear lol

Hey FTY have you seen the new 3d kangaroo chips from the real mccoy HuhHuh
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« Reply #17 on: February 13, 2005, 11:10:43 PM »

Lol!! Grin Great stuff! The Drop bears sound like fun.....  Wink
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Trey
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« Reply #18 on: February 14, 2005, 04:19:11 AM »

HA HA I just saw this thread HA HA  Tongue FANTASTIC



Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.


No laughing at this one though, I live in the country and we have many kangaroos in the paddocks near our town....they just hop around without a care in the world, and unfortunately at times hop in front of a moving vehicle!!!! There have been many roo accidents on the back streets around where I live so you have to watch out especially when driving at night!

Anyway, as mcgonagall said, any questions then just ask!

HA HA drop bears!

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Brilliant Snape.... once again you've put your keen and penetrating mind to the task and as usual come to the wrong conclusion!!
ferdinand_the_yak
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« Reply #19 on: February 14, 2005, 11:38:51 AM »

Hey Trey, which part of the country are you from?

My family lives in the country as well (and I mean real country NSW) - I live in Sydney cos of university - and there are roos here as well Smiley Sadly, as yo said, they do tend to bound across and around roads. I was not there, but one night about 2 years ago, my dad hit one while driving as it just came out of nowhere. He was fine, the car was not too bad but the roo was so badly injured that he had to put it out its misery Sad
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