You can overhear hilarious conversations!!!
I will put some of the best from a list - here:
friend overheard two old dears on a bus (cue Bristol accents...)
Old Dear A: 'Ere, you'll never guess what's 'appened to Doris. She's only gone and died!
Old Dear B: What, old Doris? That's not like 'er, she ain't never done that before...
Due to being a poor student etc etc, i work part time at the large ASDA superstore near me. I work on the "seasonal" department - barbeques in the summer, christmas trees in the winter and so on.
Anyway, i was stacking away camping equipment onto some shelves with a female colleague when a rather irate looking gent walks in our direction. The said colleague proceeds to deal with the complaint made by said customer.
It turns out that he had wanted to buy a cheap tent to go camping in - he picked one off the shelf and paid for it, then straight from the shop went camping in North Wales (he had done some shopping for food too). Living in Portsmouth, this is obviously quite some way to travel without prior knowledge of your tent.
It turns out that this bloke had actually picked up a folding canvas CHAIR which had been put on the wrong space on the shelf, not even bothered to check the receipt due to his enthusiastic want of getting away, and gone all the way to North Wales with only a small camping chair to camp underneath!
I had to go round the corner to the next aisle due to a severe attack of laughter, the colleague followed me after dealing with the complaint and we couldn't stand up for laughing.
I'm just glad he didn't complain to me, would have laughed in his face!
Oh dear! People can go to "the wilds" hideously unprepared can't they?
On a guided tour a young American lady mentions to her partner "Gee this looks old enough to be pre-war"
The tour guide pipes up "Madam, the whole tower is pre-America"
Cue stifeled giggles from the others on the tour party.
On the bus home, late 80s, in Coventry... packed upstairs, usual british silence and ignoring each other, apart from 2 schoolkids, chatting happily away, and one says..
"What's orange and round?"
"Dunno..."
"An Orange."
I appreciate that kind of crap joke and carried on listening to hear..
"What's orange and wears checked trousers?"
"Dunno..."
"Rupert the orange."
This is amusing, I think and continue to hear..
"Whats orange and hard?"
"Dunno..."
"An orange with a flick-knife."
and the entire top deck of the bus cracks up and these 2 small boys look around in astonishment....
I was standing in a queue waiting my turn and there is a little boy and his dad in front.
The kid is leaping about singing something, firing his imaginary gun whilst asking a million questions. His dad says 'Charles will you settle down and stop arsing about' to which Charles replys 'Daddy, I am a 6 year old child, it is my job to arse around.'
I love it when young children show adults up (without it being in a conceited way of course
Not overheard but I was in Edinburgh a while ago and had just crossed a road, using the traffic lights, the sort that bleep so you know when to cross. Anyway, there's a couple of yanks on the other side. The woman says to me "Excuse me, but why do thiose traffic lights bleep"
Me "So the blind can use them"
DFY "That's amazing, in my country the blind can't drive."
1: Did you know the sun's going to explode?
2: No.... When's that going to happen?
1: Oh, ages yet. About two or three hundred year's time.
2: Wow.... What're we going to do then?
1: Dunno. They'll probably make another one.
Fantastic.
My wife and I sat down on a train next to a Russian-speaking woman who was talking on her mobile. But it turned out that she was a Russian speaker - and obviously didn't consider that anyone else might be able to understand. It seems to be quite a common affliction among foreigners in London.
It turned out that she ran a scam bringing illegal immigrants into the country then getting them jobs in factories and on farms whilst ripping them off for rent and travel costs. She'd just brought 40 people into the country who'd paid her £1000 each for the privilege, but she couldn't find any work for them and they were all now penniless and starving. She was planning in detail with her partner how to do a runner and go set up shop in a different town.
Amazing how open people can be!!!
